2014 was a C U Next Tuesday!
Last year, Mr. Big and I started a memory jar to be read on New Year’s Eve. Throughout the year we would write things that happened that we wanted to remember or notes to eachother etc. and on New Year’s Eve we read through them. It was really nice. Last year.
This year, recently, he mentioned he has been doing it. Oops. I haven’t. We have random movie stubs and a color run bib in there, but I don’t think I wrote anything personally. I have a few things I could and probably will write. But not much. Part of me thought we just weren’t doing it this year because we never really talked about it. Most of me hated this year and is just trying to forget and put it behind me. Now we are in the final few hours of 2014, and I better get writing.
As much as I don’t want to remember the ectopic, I do remember the baby we created. I do remember Mr. Big taking care of me. Skipping his birthday pretty much because the gift I got him was an ectopic pregnancy and a surgery for me. Mr. Big has had moments where he has been protective of me.
To be honest, I love the strong, protector side. It’s kind of a turn on too. Guys, stand up for your girl. I digress.
So I jotted down a few of the moments I did like and would like to remember. Like our trip to Cali, which was the one time I could enjoy being pregnant. When I still had some hope.
I’ve done a bit recently to rid negative people and feelings from my life. I’ve started yoga more regularly. I’ve meditated some. I have plans for how to better my body and mind in the future. Today is cd 5 and I’ve started my higher dose of Letrozole. Last Femara cycle, wish me luck!
I feel good about 2015. I feel ready to move on from 2014. I’ve dealt with my issues and am moving forward. Obviously not forgetting. I think of our sweat pea every day and always will. But I’m pulling myself out of the pit of despair. I’m ready to be a better wife. A better person. A healthier and more importantly happier person. Try anyways. A few cycles of crap is all it takes to pull you back down, I know. But I’m better prepared to deal now I think. We will see.
In one month I would have had a beautiful baby. I’ve been thinking about that looming date a lot. Hopefully I can hold onto this peaceful feeling through that time. I think that will be my first challenge.
To all of you in my shoes or similar, and to those who are pregnant, I hope 2015 is a better year for all of us. Sending you all love and warm wishes!
I shared this on twitter and had to share here too. 🙂