Capture your grief. Day 3: Before

Day 3: Before

image

Day 3: BEFORE.
Who were you before your children died? Hopeful. Certain things did not cross my mind. I was sometimes bright and colorful. But other times depressed and washed out. I hate winter. I love the sunshine and warm breezes. I love rose season.
Do you miss anything about that person? My ignorance. My innocence. My hope. I feel more washed out these days than bright and colorful.
What did you love about that person? My constant search for my zen. My nirvana when I had it, when I was at peace within myself. My not giving up attitude. My focus on something other than loss, fear, and hopelessness.
Did you dislike anything? Of course. My negativity at times for one.
Do you see your life as before and after or do you believe that you have always been changing? Everyone is in a constant state of change. Of course I was always changing. But there is a distinct difference in me pre and post loss.