Here is a great article I found today called “what not to say to a friend dealing with infertility.”
Great points. I especially like the one about if you’re pregnant, don’t complain about it or rub your growing belly in front of your friend.
Heres a question though. What to do if your friendship has been rocky, you go through a loss, then struggle with ttc again, and your former BFF wants details but you’re not ready to share? Heres my long (sorry) story:
My former BFF (best friend since 8th grade) got married the day I started bleeding after my methotrexate shot. Our friendship had been rocky for months and while I was pregnant I was asked to be a bridesmaid instead of the moh. There was a lot of useless bs drama caused by a friend of hers and her that I didn’t need too. Especially at that time.
She had no idea I was even pregnant let alone everything I went through. All she knew is I had a life saving emergency surgery and couldn’t attend her wedding due to medical issues.
She lost my trust when she was talking about me behind my back to this friend of hers who wound up being the moh. This friend of hers has hated me since high school because ‘I wasn’t popular’ etc. She also said something about my husband trying to start a fight between me and him which was the biggest and final straw.
I sent her happy wedding wishes with an apology for not being able to attend, and she didn’t respond. She has never acknowledged it. She didn’t talk to me until she saw via Facebook that I had a surgery.
Now she wants to meet up for coffee to ‘catch up’. But I know she just wants me to tell her what happened. I don’t trust that she’ll keep our convo private. The last person I want to know what happened is her new BFF. Oh her new BFF is pregnant! So I also don’t want to hear about that. Or answer any ttc questions. Or hear her ttc stories.
So I’ve been dodging her texts. I don’t want the stress. I don’t want to meet up. I certainly don’t want to tell her what happened. What can I do? Just say I’m not ready to discuss it, and oh btw don’t mention anything about babies or pregnancy or ttc or I’ll lose my shit on you and have choice words to call your new BFF? At a loss.
How freaky, I posted this and a second later she texted me out of the blue. She doesn’t know about this blog.