Shots shots shots shots!!!!

So our IVF cycle has begun. I had my baseline blood work and ultrasound Monday and things looked perfect so I started injections that night. 

The very thought of stabbing myself with a needle VOLUNTARILY freaked me out. But the gonal pens are so easy and almost painless. Those are the FSH ones to make the eggs grow. They really work! Lots of follicles and they’re 8-12mm. 16 minimum is what I need. 

I graduated to 2 injections a night now.  This second one is to prevent me from ovulating. Which I know I would do if I don’t do these shots. I already have several signs ovulation would be approaching. Plus my estridol is fairly high now. 

I’ve been going to my clinic every other day for blood and dildo cam. My left ovary is notoriously hard to find and painful. Today I had a different tech and it took her like 5 minutes and pressing on my bloated sore abdomen to find it. 

Doing IVF with pcos sucks! I’m already bloated and in pain from the ovaries with too many follicles in them. But now we are encouraging those follies to grow. It’s painful. It’s really uncomfortable. It makes my job (fitness instructor) hell. None of my clothes fit. And I’m too pessimistic or whatever to buy any maternity pants and I’m too mad to buy any larger regular pants. I just don’t want to admit how big I am.  I hope I just get pregnant and get bigger for the next 9 months! But if I don’t, I’m scared of the unnecessary weight gain. 

So next step is the hcg trigger to make all the follies mature. Probably on Wednesday. Which means retrevial would be Friday. I’ve got no idea what to expect from the next week. Other than more bloating and pain. And hopefully lots of fat, mature eggs! If it all ends in a take home baby then it’s totally worth it. 

Thyroid woes

Hypothyroidism.  (Thanks google/pinterest for the image) 

So about 2 weeks ago I was put on synthroid for my newly diagnosed hypothyroidism. I think they only did a tsh test not t3 and t4. This will be corrected as I will make them. 

Take my blood! Take it damnit! 

The first week I felt so good! Better than I have in a long time. So much energy. Fat seems to have started to melt off. So happy. Happy? What’s that?

Then the hair loss kicked into overdrive. Then the insomnia started. I’m tired by the evening but can’t sleep. I’m a little more anxious and less happy. All signs point to being on too high of a dose of the synthroid. So basically I went from hypo to hyperthyroidism in a week. Great. But I did ovulate, so there’s that. 

When the thyroid is out of whack everything else is horribly affected. 

Also, when you’re pregnant and your thyroid levels are not balanced your risk of having an autistic child increases 4 fold.  

Now that I ovulated and if I get my period in a week and a half I’ll be starting IVF immediately. Which means this thyroid needs fixing now. 

I’m going to become ‘that girl’ at my clinic and I don’t even care. Because I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit here knowing what I do and not do anything to change my situation. 

Also, I really want a good chocolate chip cookie. Badly! But I’m paleo and gluten free and low glycemic index and try to limit dairy as much as possible.  So good chocolate chip cookies don’t exist anymore. I don’t want any of my recipes. My banana, oat, almond butter, coconut oil, applesauce, avocado replacement recipes. Nope. Just a good old fashioned chocolate chip cookie with crusty outside and cookie dough inside. Still warm from the oven. Is it so much to ask for? 😔

Yes, this is my mind when I can’t sleep. 

Also, if I can’t sleep, I can’t accurately temp! Aaahhh!!!