25

Egg collection or retrieval or whatever you want to call it happened 24 hours ago. 

We got 25 eggs. I’m waiting on a call this morning to tell me how many fertilized and when our transfer will be. 

The embryologist talked me into ICSI which I was very against going into it. But now I know that they select only sperm that “aren’t chasing their tails” and have good motility and morphology. They also can look at the eggs and their maturity with ICSI versus regular fertilization. ICSI has a slightly higher rate of fertilization as well. 

I’ve got to tell you, I’ve felt like increasing crap every single day since this IVF cycle started. I’ve been a bloated hormonal mess who may or may not have fantasized briefly about torturing or maming Mr. Big. I saw someone write about sitting down and feeling as though she’s sitting on her ovaries, and I get it now. I felt like I was sitting on them and walking on them. My point is, I don’t want to go through stims again. (The growing of the eggs, stimulating the ovaries). So I need max fertilization odds. 

However, I’m not sure if my insurance covers ICSI. They cover the rest of IVF. In the moment I totally forgot about $. If they don’t cover it, I’m screwed. And it’s kind of too late now. ICSI is $$$$. On top of the several thousand I already spent on meds. If I need to cover the ICSI portion, idk what I’ll do. But I’m trying not to worry about that now. 

Even though I don’t know when the transfer will be yet, I do know when my beta (or blood hcg or blood pregnancy test) is. Friday May 8.  2 weeks from my retrieval. And yes, I’ll be peeing on a stick before that appointment. I’m weak. And impatient. 

Another note on retrieval…the aftermath is freaking painful! I’m on Tylenol and using a heating pad and it still really hurts. Better 24 hours later after a good sleep but not where I can do my job (fitness instructor) or do much of anything. Going to the bathroom is surprisingly painful too. Tmi. But it feels like I’m going to pee my ovaries right out! That’s also getting better (I think?).

Now I have a whole bunch of meds I have to shove up my who ha and progesterone in oil to shoot up. I’ve heard nightmares about PIO. I have no idea how to use it either. Going to call the clinic to get details. I’m sure I’ll update when I hear how the fertilization is going. Fingers crossed. I guess fingers are just crossed for the next 2 weeks. And beyond. 
Also, if you nominated me for a blog award could you please comment? I know I have several out there I need to address, but it’s not showing up in my notifications. Thanks! 

Shots shots shots shots!!!!

So our IVF cycle has begun. I had my baseline blood work and ultrasound Monday and things looked perfect so I started injections that night. 

The very thought of stabbing myself with a needle VOLUNTARILY freaked me out. But the gonal pens are so easy and almost painless. Those are the FSH ones to make the eggs grow. They really work! Lots of follicles and they’re 8-12mm. 16 minimum is what I need. 

I graduated to 2 injections a night now.  This second one is to prevent me from ovulating. Which I know I would do if I don’t do these shots. I already have several signs ovulation would be approaching. Plus my estridol is fairly high now. 

I’ve been going to my clinic every other day for blood and dildo cam. My left ovary is notoriously hard to find and painful. Today I had a different tech and it took her like 5 minutes and pressing on my bloated sore abdomen to find it. 

Doing IVF with pcos sucks! I’m already bloated and in pain from the ovaries with too many follicles in them. But now we are encouraging those follies to grow. It’s painful. It’s really uncomfortable. It makes my job (fitness instructor) hell. None of my clothes fit. And I’m too pessimistic or whatever to buy any maternity pants and I’m too mad to buy any larger regular pants. I just don’t want to admit how big I am.  I hope I just get pregnant and get bigger for the next 9 months! But if I don’t, I’m scared of the unnecessary weight gain. 

So next step is the hcg trigger to make all the follies mature. Probably on Wednesday. Which means retrevial would be Friday. I’ve got no idea what to expect from the next week. Other than more bloating and pain. And hopefully lots of fat, mature eggs! If it all ends in a take home baby then it’s totally worth it.